The wind was just beginning to pick up as I waddled out of the Computer Science Engineering Library. What appeared to be a woman with a lack of shelter and proper dental care beckoned for my attention; for some time she pleaded with me but I had lived in Detroit to know how to hold my own against the rhetoric of those less fortunate.

        It was this experience that finally encouraged me to think outside of the immense Scholarship Wayne State had provided me with and seek other educational outlets. Thus I applied to the University of Michigan. I suppose you could say I simply had enough of my fellow students apathetic sentiments towards their education, campus activities and activism.  The disregard for proper maintenance in student parking lots, and a faculty that bemoaned offering proper guidance and openly noted the nature of this University being specifically used as a commuter school.  Although Wayne State indubitably had it’s charm, I couldn’t shake the feeling of disdain, a vexing emptiness that plagued me from my first day when I received word that I was to be apart of this community for ‘Scholars’.

         It took a great deal of blood, sweat, tears and nicotine, but I eventually did receive admission to the University of Michigan. Just as Wayne State had mailed a large envelope congratulating me on my acceptance to a ‘Top’ University in the country - praising me for my valiant efforts in life, professionalism and academics - the University of Michigan was no different. I now have a folder that deems me amongst ‘The Leaders + The Best’ and a handful of lapel pins for my parents to don when they attend social engagements, reminding everyone of their incredible success as parents to have a student worthy of attending the University of Michigan. (All of what I just typed nearly made me gag on my keyboard).  Still, the cardboard trophies that the University of Michigan shipped off in the thousands to all of those who had their name pulled from the magic hat of fate could not have made me giddier. For weeks I was on an adrenaline rush. I felt as if I were a European immigrant in the 1930’s who had just set sail for Ellis Island. This dream of the streets flowing with gorgeous freshman virgins, warm and embracing maize and blue apparel (not to mention an insurmountable repertoire of knowledge) couldn’t have excited me more. It was a Christmas Eve that never seemed to end; unfortunately though, what came after that yuletide of materialism was not so wonderful.

         My orientation served as a very informative means to better comprehending life at the University of Michigan.  Unfortunately, all that comprehension came down to one thing – college is fucking expensive.  It didn’t help that the thirty-minute segment on college financials was right after lunch. It was as if they thought giving us a boxed lunch proudly featuring a delicatessen sandwich, piece of fruit, small bag of potato chips and can of soda pop would help to brace us for the recent news of Financial Aid dilemmas and tuition increases for the coming years.  (Before I go on I feel it’s worth noting that orientation itself cost roughly two hundred dollars to attend). In all fairness however, they did offer a tour of campus (the box lunch, of course) and a rendition of a show severely lacking plot development that they liked to call ‘Transfer the Musical.’ (Imagine a really awful B-Movie where Kathy Griffin plays every character, ‘Transfer the Musical’ was still worse).

         But back to my story; it was just about after lunch a representative from the Financial Aid committee arrived to spit the obvious, college is fucking expensive and foundations, organizations, your relatives and the government are getting real sick of dishing out more money every year so prepare for your loans. They offered Financial Aid calculators to try and ease the pain and offer a genuine understanding of what you can anticipate to owe after college, but I sincerely would like to offer a nod of my head to them for being direct with us. Aid is shrinking, each year it shrinks even more.  Though, what really annoyed me about this lecture of sorts was that they were not afraid to express their sentiment that the University of Michigan was worth the hundreds of thousands of dollars and that this should actually be seen as one of the only schools that offers the stamp of approval worthy of it’s price tag. It was as if someone was sitting there telling me I would have to succumb to financial stresses for almost a decade because it was University’s like this that provided the affluence and accreditation you needed to be interpreted as successful.

         In the coming weeks I attended my classes and discussion periods with a grin on every occasion. In all honesty, I came to loathe the weekends and only seemed to find periods of legitimate satisfaction in my classes. When the bills began to pile up however, my sanity became ever more frail and my generous scholarships to Wayne State University began to make my mouth water. I found myself bickering with colleagues from professional work experiences and classrooms daily. Arguing over the value of a college diploma and whether it’s a schools accreditation or the experiences in college that would ultimately define a graduate. In the end I could not help but perish to a certain extent. My family was in fragile financial stance as it were and I could not help but feel watered down when surrounded in the sea of maize of blue. I approached Wayne State University with an inquiry on whether I could return and still take advantage of their benevolent scholarship I had acquired upon admittance.  Without question they opened their arms and I was set on a course to return after my semester abroad at the University of Michigan. I know that when most hear of my tale they gawk or mumble that classic University of Michigan parable, ‘those who stay will be champions.’  But I cannot help from wondering how they expect to pay back an average of $30,000 in debt when the job pool continues to shrink, the economy stays volatile, college expenses continue to inflate and the average salary in most job sectors continues to flounder. I made a decision, just as anyone has had to with his or her own education. To be honest, I cannot help but entertain the idea that possibly I will return to Ann Arbor in pursuit of a postgraduate degree. In my final year at Wayne State I could seek out programs and potential to have it subsidized, taking advantage of what the school has to offer. For now I am excited to return to the city (while resenting at times) I adore.

         Detroit has been an enormous part of my life since birth. From Dally in the Alley to the DSO, I have always found that Detroit houses an eclectic blend of characters, students, small business owners and dilapidated pedestrians that abundantly bring about a unique, if not brash, charm.  Spreading itself from Cass Corridor to the Eastern Market. Detroit and Wayne State University will not define the way I feel the University of Michigan attempted to do.  They will help me define myself, even if they do still try to call me a ‘scholar’.